To do lists

I'm in a funk, I'm drowning in have no purpose, no reason to get up, no reason for anything really. I'm starting to become jealous outside of my bubble of the people who are starting to move forward and do things. Who's lives are starting to move forward again. I know we are self imposing the rest of the sheilding and that I can go out for a walk now but I'm scared to. Why is life so much different now to how they predicted it would be when they set the 30th June as the end of sheilding, why have Scotland increased it to August. I'm confused by it all.

Today I've spent the day mainly in bed keeping to myself. It's quiet I can think, I can meditate, I can sleep so time passes. Is this healthy? Hell no! I know it's not but I needed it today. To stop the funk from drowning me I've just printed a to-do list of things I need to do. Some are boring and mundane others are more enjoyable. I will need to start ticking things off the list and adding to the list so I find that purpose again. Being unemployed (yes I know that was my own doing but it was the right thing to do) isn't helping. We are coping on one income ATM. We arent really missing the second income probably due to the fact we are still living in the self isolation bubble we are in. This I know will change and probably sooner than we think, I need to find my new beginning but I still have absolutely no idea where that's going to be. 

My to do list is going to treated as my job for now. I need the structure of getting up at 8 and getting dressed etc and doing from 8:45 till 4 again. I'm sticking with loose school hours and then I will have time to myself. Hopefully that way I'll start to rise again rather than sink deeper. This has to be my way out as idk what else I can do